Getting Better at Picking Lovers

  • Recognize patterns in your past relationships.
  • Question if the person can allow for a kind, emotionally mature relationship.
  • Consider if they could be your equal.
  • Assess their capability of looking after you as you do them.
  • Project where the situation might be in 2, 5, or 10 years.
  • Evaluate their wisdom, stability, and goodness.
  • Check if they can stop acting the child and meet you as fellow adults.
  • Understand if their troubles allow them to engage with anyone else.
  • Consider if their career could sometimes be put aside for your sake.
  • Develop sensitivity to signs of emotional withholding, immaturity, trickiness, and stuckness.
  • Look for love, not ecstatic torment, fascinating indifference, exhausting evasion, or bittersweet abandonment.

via Getting Better at Picking Lovers